Bumper my car

If I had my way, all vehicles would be made into bumper cars.
And the world would be a better place.
Think about it:
1- Learning to drive would be far more enjoyable.
2- We could teach children to drive at a much younger age.
3- There would be far less crash traffic (curse you rubber neckers).
4- There would be less road rage.
5- And Will and I would not currently be forced to find a new car in 2 days.

If all of our cars had a large bouncy structure surrounding the outside of our cars then we would not be in this wonderfully car-less predicament.

I t-boned someone the other day (it was their fault), and Jane Fonda the Honda was totaled.
It was a sad day.

I'm brilliant, I know.
Just one more reason I should rule the world.

p.s. If we're making renovations to our cars anyway, I would also like to make my horn sound like a fart.

It's the little things

It's all about the little things...

like 5 crowns,

stupid movie quotes,

the big brown couch,

Foosball,

bedtime story,

and pheonix chicken.

No Bones About It

The girls and I went to Garnder Village to see the witchee-poos...we didn't buy anything, but we got lots of ideas for projects! The following are the results of our inspiring excursion.

Skully

Materials: Plastic Skull (from dollar tree), Spray paint, Glitter paint

There were skulls like this at Gardner Village for $10.

Skully here, only cost $3... and he's sparkly.

Yarn Spider Web

Materials: Old yarn

I could have gotten this web (in an awfully bright green color) at Gardner Village for $15... I made it for free instead with some old yarn (in a color that isn't hazardous for epileptic individuals.).

Sweater Pillow

Materials: DI sweater. Pillow Form.

I find my self rather appalled at the price of throw pillows. Take for example this orange guy... $48 bucks. But I love me some throw pillows, so I bought it. When I got home and realized that I'd just spent $50 bucks on a sack of stuffing, I vowed to at least try to make my own pillows before I break down like that again. So, Mr. Sweater Pillow up there, cost me $12. Not bad huh? Especially when I've seen sweater pillows in stores for $39-$59. I'd be down with saving $27 any day, even if the edges on my pillow are a bit messy.

...uh...

Materials: Little sisters

This project was probably the easiest of all!

When we were all done, and proud of our creative, money saving, brilliance, we celebrated with sunglasses and ate our Halloween cake.

The moral of the story, you may ask, is that I was sad to put away my Halloween decorations this year.

Double Fricative

I was looking through some old pictures today and I asked myself, "Self, what good are these pictures doing just sitting on the computer?" To which I replied, "Well I don't know." Then both self and I decided to document them. That's what a blog is for after all, right? And so begin the Flashback Fridays (or Flashback whatever day I happen to write a flashback post) but we'll just call it Friday because it's catchy... get it? 'F' and 'F' ...k good.

This was spring of 2007, and we are going to Spring Fling. How cute are we?! This was probably one of my favorite high school dances for two reasons.

1) Because all of the girls have water polo tan lines from the weekend tournament we had just played.

2) Because this is the night that Steph's dress--a wonderful find from DI if i do say so myself--split open down the back more than 3 times. We had so many safety pins holding the back together, that it's amazing she could even move. It was also pretty amazing when she asked Winston Baby (boy in blue) to zip her dress back up for her after a split. And the problem with this was that Steph showed him her bare back, all the way down to her unders... She thought she was asking me, because I'm wearing blue too... but.... she was wrong. They were both pretty embarrassed, but it's ok because I still laugh about it today.

Back here in the present day, Steph just had a baby. She handled pregnancy like a champ and when I asked her how the delivery went, she said, "It was fun!"

Uh....

....Fun???

So, she's either crazy, or she's awesome. Probably the second. And you'd all agree with me if you could see her little boy. Ridiculous amounts of cuteness my friends. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I wanted to take a moment to highlight my Steph and our times together because she's cool. And we used to go by Stephica. And I allowed that because I liked the name... Not because I love her with all my heart. So don't get the wrong idea (and don't get the wrong idea about my gimp hand in this picture either... we're not even going to go there).

Pinterested?

Have you heard of pintrest? It's brilliant, and I'm a bit obsessed. If you like to spend little money, make things pretty, get lots of great ideas, and bask in other people's creative brilliance...then you'll love it too.
I'm mostly attached to all of the fabulously simple tips and ideas that I should have come up with myself but didn't. Here's some more of my favorites.

Saver your fingers, use a comb to hold the nail! & Use a tension rod to hold cleaners under the sink.
Line the pan with tin foil...duh & Use a rubber band to scrape off the extra paint.
Use a soda tab to hang up your pictures & Boycott cluttered counters!

Use clips and ribbon to hold towels in the kitchen & ketchup bottles for high tech pancakes.

Label the cords under the table with bread bag tags & binder clips to keep the cords from falling under the table

I've already tried most of these out and I've been so happy with the results. Not to mention, my husband thinks I'm brilliant for coming up with these great ideas all by myself. ;)

4 boys went to SLCC

What do you get when you have a group of boys trapped on a boat for a week? Well, I'll show you...

(These are boy feets)

The amazing thing is that I think they secretly liked it. I mean, what's not to like about a week in Lake Powell full of amazing things? Such as:

this

this

this

this

this

and lots of this.

We had a pretty great weak. Thank you Campbells for taking us!

How I lost my last name

7 or 8 years ago: There is a really cool girl in my 9th grade math class and we become best friends.

3 years ago: Cool girl and I decide to go on a road trip--which I planned to be just your average, non-life altering road trip (hint: I was wrong). So, the night before we left, I went to Cool girl's house and just so happened to meet her "Attractive Cousin" whom she also called Will the Cousin. We all talked, laughed, and slept (on different couches thank you!).

A few weeks later: The Cousin and I continued to run into each other in passing and each time I saw him I was surprised by how funny he was, and how surprisingly easy it was to talk to him. So, we continued to hang out. We went rope swinging, we went on drives, we went on walks, we went to dinner, we went hiking, we went to play in sprinklers. And by the end of it all, I had a sincere interest in him, but knowing that school started in a week, I was convinced that I probably wouldn't be seeing Will the Cousin anymore (wrong again).

A couple of months later: Will the Cousin and I ran into each other "accidentally" on weekends and such. We also started dating other people ( I was jealous, but said nothing). Then one night on a random whim, I called Will the Cousin and asked him to dinner, and as I planned it...it wouldn't change anything... it was just dinner (really wrong!). He drove all the way up from Provo. We ate at my favorite place, Costa Vida, and then we talked for a really really long time, and FINALLY I let myself really talk to him, like talk talk. From then on I decided that I was going to marry someone just like him. The next weekend, we met up, then the next, then the next until finally, I couldn't stand not seeing him.

3 months later: I walked into my house in a stupor realizing that we had just talked about getting married. Here I was planning to go on a mission, teach children English all over the world, get into Grad school...and I'm talking eternity with a boy?? Crazy right?

One year ago: Will the Cousin and I got married.

Present: Here we are, married for a year and I couldn't feel better about life. And I would trade traveling the world to play farm animals (no, it's not dirty) and eat cereal with my William any day.

What girl can resist a cute boy in a tux?

I like em Hot and Cold

Ya know what one of the greatest things ever is??

A weekend at the cabin.

See what I mean?

She was the self appointed Student of the Week this week

We just got back, and it was wonderful. It was full of sleeping in, ATV-ing, playing cards, doing puzzles, watching old school movies, and of course... eating. All of this while listening to the subtle sounds of classic big band CDs.

Ya know what else could possibly be the greatest thing ever?? Seriously, like the best thing since before sliced bread, motor vehicles, or even my little pony???

It's leftovers.

Anyone who disagrees with said statement may 1) go to a crazy house or 2) come to the council meeting I am having in which you may voice your opinions to an ever so stingy, stuck in her ways, me. At the meeting your thoughts and concerns will be considered, validated, and then mostly likely shot down. So, take your pick of the two, or just agree with me.

Now let me share with you 2 recipes that I stumbled upon...yes... there are two. I'm sharing these recipes out of the goodness of my heart, and because they were shared with me. So I guess that's the right thing to do. And also because they are super easy and they make really good leftovers :)

Black Bean-Mango Salad

Remember Maria Menounos from channel one?? Well now she's all growed up and writing books with recipes in them, this one is from her... and so is the lovely picture.

1 ripe mango diced

1/2 cup Italian dressing ( I use the little packet kinds)

2 15-oz cans of black beans rinsed

1/2 cup red onion chopped

1 green pepper chopped

1 red pepper chopped

salt and pepper

In the blender, take 1/4 cup of the mango and blend with the Italian dressing till it's smooth (I mostly skip this step, but it sure does make it more tasty). In a bowl combine the rest of the ingredients then add the mango puree. Season to taste and serve.

Roasted Garbanzo Beans

This one comes from the blog of one of the best ladies I know. It's a pretty sweet blog. You'd like it. Find her here.

Oh, and she's a photographer... as if you couldn't tell from this beautiful picture.

2 cans garbanzo beans rinsed and patted dry

3-4 tablespoons olive oil

1 teaspoon chile powder

1 teaspoon cumin

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I use an 1/8 of a teaspoon... I'm a whimp i guess)

Lime juice

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease a large baking sheet with olive oil. Put the beans in a bowl and mix with olive oil, lime juice, and salt and pepper. In a small bowl mix together the rest of the spices. Add the spices to the beans and mix until all of the beans are coated. Spread the beans out on the baking sheet and bake for 30 minutes. Serve either hot or cold.

As you probably noticed, both of these recipes are for side dishes. But when I'm hungry and I need a snack, they have been found to be what I crave the most. I hope you like them.

All my stuff smells like pickles!

I just spent three days of awesomeness pulling a handcart in the middle of nowhere Wyoming wearing pioneer clothes and bug spray. And yes, I did volunteer for it. By the end of it we walked a total of 22 miles without showers, flushies, or any sort of running water. It was about as authentic as you can get in today's day and age.

I went on trek when I was a youth but it's a totally different experience when you're a Ma because you get to have you're very favorite Pa with you the whole time. One of the other best parts? Getting to know the members of Red 4--Taylor, Kaylie, Sam, Gary, James, Hayley, and Catherine.

They be the smooth to my jazz

Bonnets =pioneer sunscreen

The only thing I really succeeded at was slowing these mustangs down.

See what I mean?

We got out of it all with minor scraps and very few blisters... turns out duck tape really does fix everything.

There were lots of uphills

and downhills

and even some antiquing

Then we had the women's pull. Anyone who has been on trek knows what this moment is like...and that I can't adequately describe it to those who haven't.

After pulling a cart for a meager 3 days, I was quite a wreck! I was tired, stinky, and convinced that I needed at least a full week to fully recover. Then I remembered that during those 3 days I had eaten great food, had no health problems, and had 7 full sized chillen's to help pull all of our junk. It is at that point that I came to the conclusion that I have absolutely no idea how the pioneers did what they did for so many days and across so many miles! But after going on the trek and having had a small taste of what they did, I sure do appreciate all of the sacrifices that they made to make the life I have today possible.

"We must be sure that the legacy of faith received from the pioneers who came before us is never lost. Let their heroic lives touch our hearts, and especially the hearts of our youth, so the fire of true testimony and unwavering love for the Lord and His Church will blaze brightly within each one of us as it did in our faithful pioneers." -Elder Ballard

I agree Elder Ballard. Happy Pioneer day.

12 moments in the life of a swim teacher

ONE. You teach a class of preschool children. After a week of bribing, begging, silly songs, and feigning that you actually see little fish swimming in the water that they must say hello too... they finally begin to get their noses in the water! This is a great day... but it's also the day that you unknowingly become an expert on all things boogers. Seriously... you should see the strings. And you, being the only "parent figure" in the water with the child gets to take care of it... and there are no tissues on hand.

TWO. When children get into the water... they usually swallow it. Which is quite gross considering the alterations that pool water undergoes (just wait till number 5) but that's not what we're focused on here. After consuming their quota of the stuff, they start to do the natural thing... burp. Now, normally I'm not one to scoff at the occasional belch...it's a natural thing after all. But picture this:

Johnny shows you a very effort full attempt at something that involves lots of flailing. It's loud so you get close to Johnny's face so you can hear him. He comes up for air and burps, which is fine until you realize that you are now trapped in a cloud of whatever it is the child ate for lunch. On this particular day, the cloud is so thick that you can actually identify exactly what Johnny had for lunch that day...down to the flavor of kool-aid. After you gag of course.

This happens more than you may think. So, while I never imagined that I would ever attain this kind of a skill... after 7 years of teaching I can now say that I am a master when it comes to deciphering macaroni and cheese from fish sticks, peanut butter sandwiches from ham sandwiches, hot dogs from chicken nuggets, and even kool-aid from otter pops all from one unfortunate sniff of a burp. I hope this talent comes in handy one day. But in the mean time... lets just say that there's a reason we start lessons by teaching the kiddlets to blow the water OUT of their mouth every time they put their face in the water.

THREE. Every time you sweat, you smell like chlorine. Every time you get in the shower, you smell chlorine. Every time you do anything with anyone anywhere, you smell like chlorine. But, I'm convinced I don't get as many mosquito bites as a result of the stench.

FOUR. A child in your class pukes in the pool. No one saw it coming, but everyone can see it now. Since the pool now has to be sanitized, you and the rest of the pool full of children must seek refuge inside. And for the entertainment...? Longfellow's WHALE Tales of course! Even the rookiest of swim teachers finds it hard to forget Wilbert the whale's ever so catchy safety phrases.

"Be cool, Follow the Rules"

"Look before you leap"

"Don't just pack it wear your jacket!"

"Think so you don't sink!"

It truly is a celebrated day when we get to review our water safety skill with Senior Longfellow. Last year the Red Cross decided that VHS's were old news, so they made a new one... it's just as classy. However, I have reason to believe that the film is quite racist. So, here's a link to some clips of the old movie which sadly was in use until 2010. Get Excited.

http://youtu.be/S5fptgS14OQ

FIVE. You pee in the pool. Sorry... there's just not enough time for you to go in between your classes! What? ...like you've never done it.

SIX. You wake up to find that it's 56 degrees outside and overcast. You call the pool and sure enough... they're still holding lessons. You pray that none of your students will com because even if only one comes, you still have to get into the water. You also pray that the children will be late so you can spend as little time in the water as possible but as soon as you arrive you see a good line up of kids ready and waiting for their teacher. Not all of your kids come to class because... come on... it's 56 degrees outside. But you as soon as you see the children that are in attendance, you feel impressed with their fortitude and you gain enough courage to get into the water first. When you actually get into the water you find another surprise... the lifeguards weren't able to pull the covers the night before so now the water is well below luke warm.

After about half of the class, all of the children's lips are blue and you know the only thing that will help them is their towel and some dry clothes. But... the parents paid for the lesson, and a lesson they will get. You beg, you plead, you remain annoyingly optimistic and energetic, and still the kids end up crying and never ever wanting to trust you again. You keep teaching lesson after lesson even though after about the second one your pinkie toe went numb.

Finally, all of your lessons are done, you don't even take the time to gather your things... you book it straight for the hot tub. It stings when you get in, but with that sting comes the assurance that you can still feel all of your appendages. Following that relief is one of the greatest showers you've ever had and a warm pair of sweats straight from the dryer.

SEVEN. You get a better tan than the lifeguards. Not to mention some killer tan lines... that are barely hidden by your wedding dress.

EIGHT. You get sunburns. You reapply your sunscreen multiple times, and you still get a sunburn. The sunburns don't show after a while... but you still feel them.

NINE. You have a student with an accent, and you discover that accents make the child even more despicably cute. And THEN, they actually put their face in the water.

TEN. One of your kids says something that makes you laugh so hard that you pee. This usually happens on a daily basis.

ELEVEN. One of your students decides to go off of the diving board (he was probably bribed by his parents). He gets onto the board, freezes, and then you see the look of sheer terror on his face. He cries. You go up to reassure him. You wait underneath the board to catch him. He gets to scared and he climbs down. After some significant encouragement, he gets back up onto the board, but only if you promise to catch him the second he hits the water. He gets up on the board. He counts to three, and you see in his eyes something that is beyond terror... seriously you'd think that he was jumping right into the arms of Satan himself. He jumps. You catch him. And after he realizes that he's still alive, he lights up as if he'd just received an Olympic medal. This look trumped when he sees his parents on the side cheering for him.

TWELVE. It's the last day of the session and one of your students gives you this.

Long story short... there's a reason we've done this for seven years.

You've got a what in the oven??

I would like to thank Utah weather for finally allowing us to have some summer. It means a lot to me that I don't have to think about wearing coats and closed toed shoes...like I did throughout the whole month of May... but that's a sore subject that we'll skip for now.

All of this summerness is getting me real excited for all of the normal summer goodness that I know is coming.

I get to go back to my pool.

I get to camp. (Let me rephrase... I get to girls camp!)

I get to boat

And... I get to dutch oven.

But, since we don't have a d'oven I had to be a little creative. And so. I found this. It's so laughably easy....like e. z. And "Super Delicious" (Kid History, 2011).

Peach Crunch Cake

24.5 oz jar of sliced peaches (and the syrup)

1 package yellow cake mix

1 stick butter cut into pieces

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Layer the ingredients in a 9x13 pan. (I doubt the order matters but I did it this way: peaches, cake mix, butter, brown sugar, walnuts).

Bake for about 40 minutes. And this is not my picture.

Bibliography

Kid History. (2011). Kid History Episode 2. Utah, USA: youtube.